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Chapter 9 Family And Community
Family
The family is considered the fundamental and most ancient building block of human society. It is the primary unit in which most individuals live.
In contemporary Indian society, various types of family structures exist:
- Joint Family: This structure involves multiple generations living together under one roof. It typically includes grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, children, and cousins. This structure often emphasizes shared living spaces and resources.
- Nuclear Family: This type of family is smaller, usually consisting of a couple and their children, or sometimes a single parent living with their children.
Indian languages often have a more nuanced vocabulary for describing family relationships compared to English. For instance, specific terms exist for paternal aunts (bua), paternal uncles (tau, chacha, tai), maternal aunts (mausi), maternal grandparents (nana, nani), and even distinctions between elder and younger siblings. Interestingly, many Indian languages do not have a direct equivalent for the English word 'cousin', as cousins are often referred to simply as 'brothers' and 'sisters', highlighting the close bonds within the extended family.
Roles And Responsibilities
Relationships within a family are ideally built on principles of love, care, cooperation, and interdependence. Cooperation means members work together towards common goals or mutual support. Each family member, regardless of age, typically has a role and responsibilities towards others and the household.
Parents, for example, are responsible for the upbringing and well-being of their children, helping them grow into happy and responsible individuals. As children mature, they are expected to take on increasing responsibilities to assist in household chores and support other family members.
The family also serves as a primary 'school' for learning important values rooted in Indian culture, such as:
- Dharma: Performing one's duty or righteous conduct.
- Ahimsa: Non-violence or non-harming.
- Dāna: Giving or charity.
- Sevā: Service, often selfless service to others.
- Tyāga: Sacrifice, willingly giving up personal needs for the benefit of others, particularly the family.
Individuals within a family often make personal sacrifices or adjust their own desires to prioritize the needs and welfare of the family unit.
Example 1. Shalini lives with her family in a town in Kerala. Her father runs a small business and her mother is a teacher in a nearby school. Shalini has a younger brother. Her grandmother, Acchamma (father’s mother), Chittappa (father’s brother or paternal uncle) and her Chitti (aunt or uncle’s wife) live with them. They have a daughter, Shalini’s cousin, who she calls Chinni. Shalini’s uncle has just lost his job and her aunt is a homemaker. The whole family was preparing for the festival of Onam. Acchamma told Shalini’s father that his brother was having financial difficulties, so they were not able to buy new clothes for the festival. When Shalini’s parents took her and her brother shopping, they bought new clothes not only for themselves, but also for Chittappa, Chitti and Chinni. As a result, Shalini did not get the silk dress she had expected; she had to settle for a simple cotton one. Acchamma explained to Shalini that this is how families support each other and share what they have. Shalini did not mind her simpler dress. She was happy that everyone could get some new clothes.
Answer:
This story illustrates the principle of interdependence and support within a joint family. Shalini's parents demonstrated empathy and generosity by prioritizing the needs of their extended family members (Shalini's uncle, aunt, and cousin) who were facing financial hardship. This act of buying clothes for everyone, even at the cost of Shalini's personal desire for a specific dress, shows the value of seva (service) and tyaga (sacrifice) within the family unit.
Acchamma's explanation reinforced the cultural value that family members support each other, especially during difficult times. Shalini's acceptance of a simpler dress and her happiness at everyone receiving new clothes demonstrate that she has learned the value of sharing and prioritizing the collective well-being over individual preference.
If I were in Shalini's place, I would likely feel a mix of disappointment about not getting the desired dress, but also pride and warmth in seeing my family care for each other. Understanding the situation of my uncle's family and witnessing my parents' act of kindness would help me appreciate the meaning of family support and make the sacrifice willingly.
The family structure described is a joint family, consisting of Shalini, her brother, parents, grandmother, paternal uncle, aunt, and cousin.
Example 2. My name is Tenzing. I love the mountains we live in, though life is sometimes hard. My father runs a small grocery store. After my mother became busy in a local handicraft cooperative, making our beautiful traditional fabrics, wood carvings and other items for sale to tourists, my father joined in cleaning the house, taking care of our small vegetable garden and other household chores. Often, he helps my grandmother prepare food for us all. Grandmother always has all sorts of interesting stories to tell me, with humour and wisdom; no one seems to understand people better than her! Grandfather helps me with my homework and takes me to the school bus stop. He is also actively involved in social work in our colony and is always offering his help to others. For example, when there is a power failure in our area, he goes and registers a complaint at the nearby office. When our neighbours’ house got damaged in a storm, he collected some money from the whole neighbourhood to help with repairs.
We are lucky that my parents can take care of our basic necessities like food and clothing. When any special expenses come up, I have often seen that they discuss them together. Mother says that we should always try to save some money for any unexpected needs that may arise in the future.
Answer:
Tenzing's story illustrates a functional joint family where roles are flexible and support is mutual. His father's active participation in household chores demonstrates a willingness to share responsibilities, especially as his mother became busy with her work. This flexibility and cooperation are key aspects of family life.
The grandparents play vital roles beyond just living in the house. Grandmother provides emotional support, wisdom through stories, and helps with cooking. Grandfather contributes to Tenzing's education (homework help) and ensures his safety (school bus stop). Importantly, grandfather also extends his sense of responsibility beyond the immediate family to the wider community by engaging in social work and helping neighbours in need.
The parents discussing special expenses together highlights joint decision-making and mutual respect in managing family finances. The mother's emphasis on saving reflects a practical value aimed at ensuring the family's long-term security.
Overall, Tenzing's family demonstrates interdependence, shared responsibility, mutual support, and the transmission of values like wisdom, community service, and prudence across generations.
Community
A community is a group of connected people, typically comprising multiple families or individuals who share common spaces, interests, or circumstances. Communities serve various roles in social life.
People in a community often come together for shared activities such as:
- Celebrating festivals and organizing events like feasts and weddings.
- Providing mutual support, especially in rural areas, for tasks like agriculture (land preparation, sowing, harvesting).
Historically and traditionally, communities, particularly tribal and rural ones, have developed shared practices or 'rules' for managing common resources like water bodies, grazing lands, and forest produce. These practices, often unwritten, ensured equitable access to resources for all community members but also placed specific duties and responsibilities upon each individual and family for the collective well-being and smooth functioning of the community.
Real-life examples showcase the power and importance of community action and mutual support:
- The Halma tradition of the Bhil community in Madhya Pradesh involves people voluntarily coming together to help individuals, families, or the community as a whole in times of need. This tradition has been successfully applied to environmental initiatives like planting trees, digging trenches for rainwater harvesting, and building water conservation structures, demonstrating a collective duty towards the environment and community welfare.
- During natural disasters, such as the Chennai floods in 2015, community groups, including private organizations and religious bodies, organized efforts to provide essential support like cooking and distributing food to affected people.
These instances illustrate people coming together for collective benefit without expecting personal payment, driven by a sense of duty and solidarity.
Community exists not only in rural settings but also in urban contexts, although it may manifest differently. Urban communities might form around shared residency in a locality or building.
Example 3. More than 20 years ago, in an area of Ahmedabad (Gujarat), Kamal Parmar, owner of a small auto-fabrication workshop, noticed a group of underprivileged children on the street. Some had dropped out of school, while others had never been to school. Kamal started giving them tuition from 5:30 to 9:30 pm every day, after his regular work hours. He also provided the kids with a free dinner. Soon, 150 children were attending those classes regularly and were deeply interested in the lessons!
A few teachers from a local school noticed the classes and joined the teaching for a while. One of them observed, “These children don’t get proper benches to sit on, have no ‘silence zone’ classrooms and the vehicles passing by make lots of noise, yet they pay all their attention to what the teachers tell them. This touched my heart. The love and affection I got from them was unbelievable.” Some older children who were attending regular schools also joined as volunteers to teach in Kamal’s classes. One of them remarked, “We went there to teach, instead we learnt a lot from them.”
Answer:
This story exemplifies a strong sense of civic responsibility and compassion within a community, initiated by an individual. Kamal Parmar's decision to dedicate his personal time and resources to educate underprivileged children reflects a proactive attitude towards community welfare. His actions demonstrate empathy and a commitment to addressing a societal need.
The values reflected in Kamal Parmar's initiative include selfless service (seva), compassion, dedication, and a belief in the importance of education as a means of upliftment. His actions inspire others (local teachers and older students) to join in, creating a network of support and voluntary contribution within the community.
The story also highlights the challenges faced by underprivileged children, suggesting that society has, in some ways, been unfair by not ensuring equal access to basic necessities like education. To ensure all children have access to education, society needs collective action, involving government policies, community initiatives, individual efforts, and support from educational institutions to remove barriers and provide resources for disadvantaged children.
In urban areas, new forms of community organization are also developing, such as Residents' Welfare Associations (RWAs). These associations are formed by residents of a particular locality to address shared concerns and manage aspects of community living. They often establish their own rules and regulations regarding issues like waste management, cleanliness of common areas, and neighborly conduct. The development and acceptance of these rules often involve community participation.
Ultimately, communities are interdependent. For example, an RWA relies on external service providers (like traders for supplies) and municipal services (like waste disposal workers). In complex modern societies, individuals and different communities are interconnected and rely on each other for various needs and functions.
The concept of 'community' is flexible and can encompass various groupings:
- A jati or its sub-divisions can constitute a community.
- Groups sharing a common religion, regional origin, profession, or interest are often referred to as communities (e.g., 'Mumbai's Parsi community', 'scientific community', 'farming community').
- Within a school context, a class, sports teams, clubs (like NSS, NCC, science/drama clubs), or interest groups also function as communities.
Understanding families and communities reveals how individuals are interconnected within social structures, sharing responsibilities, supporting one another, and contributing to collective well-being in diverse ways.